Artwork credits: cordani @ est00.com
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They say if you fail to plan, you plan to fail, but they don't usually supplement if you fail to fail, you're on course to plan. This is the mentality I've been handling tighter in the last month, as the woman I've had the relationship breakdown with replied to one of my mails - directly, for the first time in over an annum. She informed me "you were thinking too much and too deep and tried to interpret too many things, which had absolutely nothing to do with you." Obviously there's misunderstandings at each end, a literary big cat that's had its dinner stolen. Reclaiming my equilibrium will be dictated by fate and common sense, as she says "I'm gonna explain you everything as soon as I'm gonna have a new laptop again, ok?" By kind direction of my parents I will resist answering her until that semblance is fulfilled.
"Veer On The Side Of Caution" is the second in a series of mixes dedicated to Bridewell Gardens, which I enrolled for earlier in 2009 to attempt work in the fields of conservation and decoration. To tie in the first paragraph, it is a cross-application of mellow and meaningful music that is themed on tracks that use piano for longer than two minutes. I partake in pricking out and potting on at Bridewell and this is my soundtrack. If you're unaware what these are: pricking out is lifting sowed seeds (plants) from their beds, putting them into trays, whereas potting on is lifting tray-bound plants and placing them in pots. Sound like fun? It's helped keep me sane and sedated this fall.
I've lengthened the double whammy of purposes by integrating the ominous narratives of L-r & Radiomentale's "I Could Never Make That Music Again" LP, ala "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie", to creep in and out. It is a relay of musicians talking of their personal hardships, methods of using music as healing agents, and the contextualising of such diction in succession opens the idioms into more adventurous areas. I can apply a multitude of the speeches as buoys for my problems with psychosis, most openly "I stopped listening to music in general. I had my own personal things that I was going through. I was also going through a time of, you know, I guess I would say...I'm not retro or conservative at all you know, I'm really not".
Leafcuter John's "Dream 111" is the badge of honour I sacrificed when presuming a test on the woman's MySpace page was to detect whether I was supposedly "stalking" her (which I wasn't. I was very worried for her and so prolonged my viewing of her MySpace to tell if there was suicidal hypothesising). A selection of her friends posted "one, two" in their specific language (this deal has greater space for misunderstanding as it veered over two different countries, one not native English) and I took the bait, intended for me or not, and posted "three" in her language. I then mailed the friend who shouted me down by saying if she has no more time for me, deleting my MySpace comment will let me know. For all I assume she could have removed me from her friends list there and then, as the comment on her site remained, but the one on mine "hello my favourite donut" (we used to jest and that was an affectionate term) disappeared. So the manifestation increased, opening up "This is battered and torn, with a scratch on the top, although it is not so worn, it is time to stop" to further interpretation.
"There are freaks that are created, either through accident or disease, and then there are freaks that create themselves. We get laughed at, it was a joke. We got laughed at for years, so we had to really believe in ourselves, because we could have given up. A freak is really a metaphor or a symbol for someone whos on the outside. And in a lot of ways, they've always seen themselves as outsiders...as freaks, if you were." Like trying to put ten pounds of mud in a five pound sack, this working could have transgressed desirably if I was able to see clearly, with clarity and restraint from not constantly wearing my heart on my sleeve. The anguish is almost palpable as I encounter my older emotions and attempt to open my eyes and realise this friendship I had online with this woman could teeter to trepidation all too quickly if I don't take my family's advice and hold back. Those reading my past write-ups, and newcomers to the 15 Minutes Of Fame Mix Series, I'll tell you honestly what occurs in good faith, very soon.
Mixed in Cubase SX 3.
Any feedback much appreciated. :)
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